A Palpable Sense of Love & Loss

by Pendulous

Shame 04:38
Increasing distance, A faltering tie. Wavering dreams, All in sundry. Resonant laughter, Wishfully mine. Bloom in pale visions, Yet, I furl inside. Dejecting wounds. Atrophying, Dispersing age, Scathing solace afresh. Eidolon love, Deepen the grave. Aghast! An ode to the living fugue. Affliction at my will- A faltering lie. Steadily gaining, Incessantly losing, The merits that I called mine, To the cost of insight. Rejecting reason. Augmenting trauma.
40 Years 11:17
It is here in this moment, That we find what I, as man, am made of. Am I wood? Am I stone? Or could it be enduring the pains of flesh? Is this then, courage - a contest of strength? Where have we gone these past six or so years? Such delicate hearts seeking redemption. Suppose, for one moment, That you were just an illusion; Would I have risen? Would I have fought with such will? Forty years, To find this moment. Forty years, To end our tension.
These chains once of purest gold, Have rusted away. Like fibers of frail flesh, Suspending the crushing weight, Of this pendant world. O, our heads hang low, As all we've ever known, All we've ever held, All we've ever cherished flees, As we part with sanctity. How do you hoist this sullen burden? Only you, on crippled limbs, Could teach us to walk again. Carried in pools of maroon, To see us through, All for the love of your own. O, solemn guardian, I sing in debt to you. I sing in debt to you. In debt... To you...
Hibernal Sun 10:13
I walked outside as the temperature and the hibernal sun sunk slowly, as though weary and gravid, but putting up one last feeble protestation. The chill struck my face, biting it so abruptly, that my eyes winced and watered in irrepressible protest. As I walked further down the sidewalk, I noticed other people quickening their pace, pulling up their collars, with their faces turned down, moving towards their destination with such sudden purpose; as I had not yet determined mine, I move slowly between them. The distant thrum of foreboding behind my consciousness became audible, or was it the wind and the sighs and the breaths of all the people rushing by? It made insistent shimmering pangs that I could nearly see. Or perhaps it was my eyes blurring at the wind's sting and the incipient stream of unwilled tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Like the rest of them, I turned up my collar, but the wind would still not spare my eyes. I walked forward into the dusk and the shrinking shapes of shadows, as the sun disappeared. I no longer knew where I was going. I did not know where they were going, but I doubled my pace to join them. Swiftly I folded into the fatigued mass clipping forward. My mind's eye folding its lid against my awareness. I no longer wished to be among them... With bated breath to chase the anamnesis, Far beyond the palpable senses; The warmth of sweat and tears born of Fear, Run down my cold, exhausted face; Digging in the harsh sands of time, Clawing at the Tree of Life. Eliding cries, the deafening pangs, Into a crash of silence. Trembling limp towards the past, Hesitant strides approach, The hiemal future ahead. Steps of uncertainty lit, In the gloaming of Autumn, And it' final days.
Closure 11:48
Something in your eyes is still, Screaming underneath the rose. Emotionally undefined. Days on end seeming with you, The throes upon the living wound. Tonight we'll waste it all at once. Embed and lose ourselves at last, Without a single word or "goodbye." Answerless. Destitute of peace... All I needed... All I wanted... Was closure...
Memoirs 06:49


"A Palpable Sense of Love and Loss, is a sonic document that will change how heavy music is heard." -Cvlt Nation

"The music reeks of melancholy. It seeps from every note played. The weight of the music is not to crush, but to envelope the listener in it’s sorrowful beauty. " -Metal Bandcamp


released March 9, 2015

Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered with John Haddad at Trench Studios. Cello arranged and recorded by Cristal Reyes.


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Baneful Genesis Records Los Angeles, California

"The Terminus Of Baneful Genesis Records Is To Engender, Distribute, And Promulgate All Audial Essence That Is Deemed Worthy"

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